And, like a piece of chocolate, it suddenly feels as if everybody wants a piece of me. I’ve had more job offers and job interview invitations this past week than I’ve had in the past 10 months. I don’t know what brought it on, whether there is just suddenly this influx of work in South Africa or whether the Universe felt me lose my temper with the country and decided to try and give it one more chance by getting me a job. Perhaps it was my desperate plea that would have me find a solution to my problem that would not involve giving up my whole life and, truthfully, my horse.

I had been ready to go overseas, I still am in a sense, I have found out all that I needed to know, but two things have kept my soul screaming back. My partner and Basjan. In the past two weeks, my horse has shone more affection to me than he ever has, visibly acknowledging me as his. I could walk to him and catch him, he came when I called, and whenever anybody else tried to touch him, he’d shy away and towards me, clearly showing me that I was his security. It had made thinking about going abroad very hard.

One way or the other, I suspect my time waitressing is up. I try not to get excited about this and, admittedly, the idea doesn’t come without sadness. I’ve made a good name for myself in the restaurant, I have grown fond of the people that I work with and I’m very used to the routine. Although I work hard, I work wonderfully unsocial hours which gave me a lot of time to take care of Basjan and some of my personal ventures (read: Play FallOut 3…). I’m always concerned that another job would take up even more of my time than my three jobs did.

Though, (insert laugh here) I doubt that. A normal job would mean weekends. And two days break after each other.

I’m not getting too excited and although I’ve let the restaurant know that I might be leaving, I haven’t quit yet. The thing is that a lot of people want a piece of chocolate (women anyway…) but they never actually take it. Maybe I’m just cynical, but I’ll believe that I’ve got a job when I actually have an employment contract in my hands. I’m done making my decisions on false hope.