There’s no place like home.

I’ve about had it with my cousin’s house. I’ve been here for three weeks, taking care of their two dogs and three cats, one of which is a four month old Siamese kitten. I’ve never been one for cats because I am terribly allergic to them. So, whenever I am in a place where they are, I am super aware of my actions. If the cat touches me, I have to make a mental note to wash my clothes, if I touch a cat, I have to wash my own hands in fear that I might touch my face and be responsible for setting of a chain reaction that will end with me looking like a turned over butternut. It’s not a pleasant experience.

I thought that I came geared for my visit – bringing enough allergy medication to supply an army. I’ve taken care of their house in the past, when they only had two cats, and it worked out quite well. The older cats, just your normal street cat type, are very polite, well trained (for lack of a better way to describe them) and don’t really bother me save for sleeping by my legs at night. I can live with that. The distance that they naturally keep works for me. When I had said that I’ll take care of their house, I had hoped that the kitten would’ve learned the same manners by now but I was wrong.

The kitten is everywhere and mostly sprawled over my face one way or the other. It sleeps in my face on my pillow. It jumps onto me and tries to lick my face when I sit down. It rubs itself under my chin when I’m working on the computer. At first, I though it just needed attention. I made sure to play with it and stroke it a lot before I sat down to do some work but the kitten didn’t know the meaning of stop. I tried to get it to sit on my lap while I’m typing like the older cats do, but it kept leaping up to the keyboard. My first thought had been to just lock it up in the bedroom when I started working but then I felt guilty, especially when the Siamese kitten’s calls for attention sounded more like a baby crying than a cat.

It soon dawned on me that I was stuck with this kitten one way or the other.

Today, I suspect my patience have reached it limit. Two nights ago, after coming back from work at some ungodly hour in the morning, I had to remake my whole bed and search for clean bedding because the kitten peed in my bed. I have to be super aware of where I leave my clothes and I can’t hang up my towels because the kitten thinks that anything material is a litter box. Last week I had to take the cat to the vet because it had a stomach upset and I am constantly worried that it might find some way to escape the house and disappear – never to be seen again. The kitten wakes me up every morning by pouncing on my face or biting my nose and if it’s not sleeping on my pillow, it’s sleeping IN my shirt, nestled between breasts like some happy perve. The straw that’s now broken the proverbial camel’s back is that the kitten leapt on my keyboard, killing my winamp and (drum roll please) deleting the original post that I had been working on for today’s blog. I don’t know how it did it, but it is done and so am I. I want to go home and sit there in my own room, with my own dog and space. The only catch is, if I stay away the whole day, I’ll have to deal with the fall out tonight. There’s nothing worse than a socialble kitten that’s been left alone all day. Trust me – I know.

I spoke to a friend of mine the other day who said that she didn’t like cats, that she feels she as a person is too needy to have a supposedly aloof feline. I have news for her and the perfect solution.

Get an untrained, uneducated and unmannered Siamese kitten. You will never have any space of your own again.

Ever.

Days left till owners come back: 3 and counting.

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4 thoughts on “There’s no place like home.

  1. Jenn July 9, 2010 / 2:15 pm

    Aw, poor baby! I hate to say it, but the peeing thing needs to be addressed by your cousin. Next time you find her peeing on something, hold her nose to it & then carry her to the litter box & put her in it & hold her then for a sec. As for wearing the kitten out, put a feather on a string & trail it around. She’ll have a ball chasing it. Also you can attach the string to a door handle & she will play with it forever.
    Hope it helps!

    • Alyssa July 13, 2010 / 6:02 pm

      Turns out, they KNEW about it and didn’t warn me.
      It’s because the kitten was hand reared and the mother never taught her how to do it right.
      Makes me grateful for my mother…

  2. Fyrefly July 12, 2010 / 7:18 am

    Lol. I feel your pain, I’ve just got back home after looking after my uncles pets. Thankfully he has no cats but he does have 3 dogs. Ones a puppy, ones kinda middle aged and the other ones old, compleatly deaf and doesnt have very good vision. They’re good natured dogs ‘n all but they dont listen and they LOVE to jump- which sux because I’m allergic and they make me sneeze and itch like crazy. Now Im so happy to be home with my well behaved and non-jumping dogs, my well behaved non-jumping brother and mums not so well behaved pro-jumping kitten. But that string on the door handle thing is what I do to keep the kitty at bay and it works so good. I never really apriciated the worth of string until we ended up with our cute yet evil kitty.

    • Alyssa July 13, 2010 / 6:00 pm

      Hello FyreFly! It’s great to read you back. 😀 I was wondering what happened to you. Yes, I can almost bet on it that string was created by a person trying to entertain an evil kitten on a long and dark night… It works no matter WHAT you put at the end. 😉
      Thank you for the comment! I hope this finds you well.
      Alyssa

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