I always tell myself that I’d post a blog a day, but somehow I never get round to it. My studying, personal writing and work got in the way this week but I thought I’d drop in and say Hi.
It’s two days to my birthday – the 22nd of July. I’m never quite sure how I feel about birthdays. Because of the time of year (see post Remembering Arlene) I get terribly introspective. The world moves at a slower pace inside me, even though the month seems to rush by. I had always looked forward to Arlene and my birthday together and since her death, it seemed slightly futile to look forward to this date. I’m also (and this is going to sound terribly vain) dreading getting older, climbing closer and closer to the 30 mark. I don’t have a problem with 30 per say, but I do have a problem with the fact that I feel as if I have essentially wasted a year of my professional life waitressing and slugging through life back here in South Africa. If I had been inching closer to 30 as an already successful business woman, things would’ve been different, but as it is – all I have to show for my almost 26 years is a big, fancy degree that’s brought me nowhere and two years of adventuring that doesn’t mean anything in my country.
Of course, I can’t just look at it like this.
Although I haven’t accomplished anything professionally, I have accomplished quite a few things in my soul. And, there have been some good things as well. Many good things. NaSty things, Basjan things, Other Half things.
So, I invite you to come and share it with me, on the 22nd of July – when I (unlike approaching the day with my usual doom and gloom) will point out some of the things that I am proud of, brag with my gifts (put your reading glasses on!) and close off the chapter of my quarter century, while trying to look forward to the next one with enthusiasm.
Yours in writing,