Three’s a Crowd: The Voices in my Car.

My car was becoming too crowded and the ironic thing was I was the only person present.
A couple of months ago, I invested into a GPS after I had gotten horribly lost in the dodgiest area of a nearby city. I went out and bought a Garmin Nuvi that same weekend and I have to say, I have not looked back since. It took some getting used to in the beginning. Inherently, I’m not the kind of person that you tell what to do. You request and provide me with other options so that I could make my own choice. SatNav Lady wasn’t quite like that, she told me where I had to go and come hell or high water, she was going to make sure that I stay on track.
I had endless fun in the beginning, driving left when she said right and hearing her get more and more excited until I could swear she shouted at me: TURN RIGHT!
She must’ve thought that I was a complete idiot and, when she finally figured out that I wasn’t and that I was doing it on purpose, she got her own back by occasionally sending me in completely the wrong road, letting the purple bar disappear quite suddenly and then telling me that she had to recalculate our route…
I promptly put her on mute the third time it happened, having decided that there was only space for one bitch in the car and it wasn’t her. My space was reclaimed…
I turned her volume on again at some point and after that we had a slow but steady alliance. On the odd occasion, I’d turn left when she meant right, but it wasn’t on purpose and on the places where I knew she had some difficulty distinguishing the roads, I tried to anticipate where I had to go without her help. I like to believe that after using her for three months that we’ve become allies, even though we would never be friends.
Today however the balance was upset with the arrival of Supertooth woman.
When my mother upgraded her phone (more than a year ago) she was given a Bluetooth hands free kit as a gift. She never used it and, after I was almost pulled over by cops on a number of occasions, I asked her if I could use it. She agreed happily and off I went to Zeerust, SatNav Lady and Supertooth woman in tow. Quite suddenly I had TWO women in the car with me, one telling me what to do and the other one telling me who was calling me (and that my call was dropped or not…).
I felt…
And, I’m sure that SatNav Lady feels threatened because Supertooth woman’s voice is way more sexier than hers. I’m of the mind to make SatNav Lady a SatNav Man, but then they might get together when I’m not looking and have babies…
I would hate for my car to look like this:

10 thoughts on “Three’s a Crowd: The Voices in my Car.

  1. Jenn December 9, 2010 / 5:30 pm

    OMG, you are too funny today! You descriptions are priceless. I even laughed aloud at work!

    • Alyssa December 9, 2010 / 7:53 pm

      😉 I spend too much time on my own.

    • Alyssa December 9, 2010 / 7:54 pm

      THey are an evil breed of AI intelligence, lol. Your experience is hilarious mud!!! I so feel for you.

  2. nastyromo December 9, 2010 / 8:00 pm

    I once knew a free-spirit of a woman who liked the idea of two women whispering in both ears…but that’s another story for another day. You can change the GPS voice to give her an accent…Ooo! Or, a different language! That would be fun… 😉

    Antonio 😎

    • Alyssa December 9, 2010 / 8:03 pm

      lol, sometimes I turn her into a tiny japanese call girl…

  3. Phoenix December 9, 2010 / 10:04 pm

    I have the same issue with my Droid… >_>

    • Alyssa December 13, 2010 / 1:31 pm

      They are evil things…

  4. Tiffany December 11, 2010 / 2:04 am

    That’s hilarious Alyssa! I totally know what you mean. Of course the best part is in the way you’ve told the story – clever! 🙂

    • Alyssa December 13, 2010 / 1:32 pm

      LOL, thank you. 🙂

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