I haven’t been writing the past week, once again cut off from my muse by a personal surge of emotions. I went running with a friend yesterday and we spoke about this problem that I had, that the moment my brain received too many emotions it just short circuited.
I’m not sure why, years ago – I could write like this. I used to channel my emotions into what I was working on and produce something.
Now, nothing.
It made me realize that writing changes, just like people do. My talent has certainly evolved. Sometimes, I feel as if it has become more like a practice, a job than a hobby. I think that’s why I stop doing it when I’m under stress.
It’s a shame in a way, because it used to be a coping mechanism. A way I dealt with all of my emotions. Now, it’s just something that I do.
I’m not sad or upset, I’m just… strangely taken aback.
I don’t want it this way, but also – this has a positive reaction as well.
You see, years ago – I could actually only write when I was upset. Now, I can mostly do it all the time.
So, although my words aren’t flowing now, I know that they will again. Next week if I get my arse in gear, but – I’m in no hurry. I know that I will write again – and, I trust that you’ll be patient.

4 thoughts on “Silence

  1. Ryan June 3, 2011 / 10:17 pm

    There’s a wide range of emotion to shape into our writing but as you imply it can’t be forced. Using those emotions to craft creativity is tremendously satisfying. It needs a holiday sometimes so bear with it and it will come back refreshed.

    • Alyssa June 7, 2011 / 4:21 pm

      I hope so. I can breathe again, so maybe you will be seeing more of me again.

  2. Ris June 4, 2011 / 5:28 am

    This entry was surprising to me. I don’t write as much as you do, but I too could use my writing as a way to cope. Especially since I’m implosive so I don’t show much to the outside world. But I haven’t been able to decently write – even blog – in months. Just an overload of stuff. Interesting to see that I’m not the only one that has that problem.

    • Alyssa June 7, 2011 / 4:23 pm

      I will contact you on this. Time to pull ouselves together. It’s interesting thought the effect that depression can have on us. Good luck!

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